Life is so much better after having sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
