Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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