this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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