I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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