k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
