What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I believe in your delicious
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
