What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
