I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
