I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
