Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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