I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize