If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
