You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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