Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
