you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
