I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
