Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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