Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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