a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
