How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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