If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
