Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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