I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
