ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
