She said her name was "party"
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
