Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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