What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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