Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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