Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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