So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
