physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
