You're completely useless in the revolution.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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