i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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