Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
