And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
