My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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