Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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