every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
