So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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