he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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