do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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