if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
