just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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