You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
