You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
