Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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