you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
