ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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