I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
