is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
