they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
