Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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