just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
