Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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