So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
