I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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