i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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