And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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