ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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