Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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(516): View more from New York

i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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(440): View more from Ohio

One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm

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(870): View more from Arkansas

God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz

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(904): View more from Florida

I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.

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(509): View more from Washington

Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid

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