I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
