JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
